These days there’s bound to be several gyms to choose from, all within a mile or two radius. From old school gyms with rusty weight racks to clinical health club’s, whichever gym you find to call home, they’re certain elements that you can’t get away from and if you’re one of these people, it’s time to take a long look in the mirror….
The big sweater - Yes, we all sweat, some more than others and it’s no bad sign when your gruelling regime gets the best of you. However, please don’t feel the need to share your precipitation with others, leaving sweat covered machines for someone unsuspecting victim to lie face down on the bench afterwards. Carry a towel or cloth and wipe machine’s down after use
Mr Mobile - It’s annoying on the bus, irritating in shops, but people talking on mobiles, seemingly as loud as possible to prove their social skills, is infuriating. Let’s face it, people who talk in the gym are bad enough but in a place where the reason for being there is to push yourself to the limit and improve your physical being, why are these people organising nights out and sharing gossip while stood next to a vacant weights rack. Put the phone down and pick the weights up, you have been warned. Note: Dom Joly impressionists will be shot on the spot.
The Equipment Hogger - It’s not that I mind someone spending 10 or 20 minutes on one machine, but using the cables for every exercise known to man, sitting talking to his mates about the weekend shenanigans or going back and forth from two different machines are not reasons for hogging gym equipment. There’s only so much equipment to use and spending half an hour on the bench press never did anyone much good. The same goes to the guy on the mobile, I don’t mind how often you go or what you do while you’re there, but if you’re not gonna put 100% in after putting the time and money into getting there, stay at home and put your feet up, you’ll be doing as much good either way.
The Weight Thrower - I know gym routine’s can be intense, I’ve been through a few, but why is it necessary for some people to prove both their own manhood and how ridiculously heavy the dumbbells are they’re pretending to lift by throwing the weights to the floor with a thud. I can’t begin to explain my frustration; it’s dangerous, damages equipment and is just unnecessary.
The Screamer - Most probably related to the weight thrower, the Screamer lets out grunt after grunt and ends with the inevitable ‘last push scream’ which tells everyone in the gym how much weight he’s just lifted and how much effort he puts in. Deep, heavy breaths or the occasional painful wrench is all the proof you need.
The Expert - More than any other bodybuilding tips, I always tell people that knowledge is power. Armed with as much information as possible we can train, eat and supplement to the best of our ability. However, please don’t feel the unrestrainedly urge to share this with other members of the gym, especially when in the middle of an exercise. There’s always at least one guy who designates himself the expert and right or wrong, like it or not, will tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong (and lets face it, more often than not, he’s a clown). Always listen to as much advice as possible and constantly update your knowledge, just don’t treat it as gospel, whoever says it.
The Guy who leaves the weights out - Not the biggest sinner in the list but still, leaving weights lying around or on equipment after use is fairly irritating at best. You never know whether someone’s still using the weights and it leaves a cluttered assault course in its wake. Show some courtesy to your fellow gym user, put the weights back.
The Big Boys Contest - Possibly linked to the Weight Thrower and Screamer, there’s always a few big lads who play the heaviest weight competition. The rule goes the more plates you can fit on the bench press, the stronger you are. There heads flutter, there feet flail, there backs bend like Beckham and the guy who’s supposed to be spotting them take half the weight off them after the second lift. This is one competition you shouldn’t try to win.
